


Possession is nine-tenths of the law

by Madisuzy



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madisuzy/pseuds/Madisuzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casual sex isn't always casual for everyone involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possession is nine-tenths of the law

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kickcows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/gifts).



> I am drunk and kickcows' is encouraging my bad writing while drunk habits. Blame her totally. Also - 'DEDICATED TO KAT, WHO ENCOURAGES ME TO BREAK PEOPLE'S HEARTS. She does... she is both awesome and evil. This one's for you girl. lol

Reno watches, seeing the signs, knowing the pattern well enough by now. When Tseng comes over to his desk, eyes averted and body language mixed, he already knows where he’ll be spending the night.

He shouldn’t… that is a given. 

Still, he nods and acts like it’s nothing, accepts like it’s a disposition he’ll give because sex is sex, and he’s just a man, after all. Tseng nods, the same act, playing at disinterest while his body leans in too close. It’s physical only… and Reno doesn’t need the pictures to remind him of the reality he refuses to swallow.

While they are both liars, the lies aren’t the same.

For Tseng, it’s all about substitution. Reno knows he is just a body, just a warmth that is misplaced, like the burn of menthol that soothes, instead of stings.

Sometimes, Reno wishes he was important enough to sting… to hurt, to wound. But, he knows, he is not in the same league in Tseng’s heart. It is a thing he dreams of, misplaced and unworthy, and he yearns for it like a disciple wishing for his lord to look on him and really see him, just once.

Reno’s lie is far worse though, in his own opinion, at least.

He takes his heart’s desire, lets Tseng use him and reach his peak buried deep inside, and for a few minutes, he can pretend, can fantasize and imagine all of this is real. He feels like a thief, but still he takes and indulges, enjoys and wallows in the fake affection like he’s earned this much at least… when in reality he knows he’s earned nothing at all.

Reno is just convenient. Like a shop that’s open all hours. Available and easy, but never the one preferred option. What he wouldn’t give to be exclusive and special… preferred. But that is something he figures he’ll never be, so why punish himself and hide when there’s so much he can steal, even if he always knows it will never truly be his.

It’s always after that is the hardest, when all the lies and delusions fall away and leave him exposed and open to the truth he doesn’t want to accept. The passion, so drug like and intoxicating, ebbs away and all that’s left is the cold, harsh reality that he’s the wrong person, never the right one, never enough.

Tseng is respectful, considerate, as he always is. But his aftercare is clinical, like a nurse who smiles at you while tending to your every need in a concoction of paid concern… like it’s just a job, a payment, a price for a moment’s pleasure. 

Each time it happens it feels more and more like a transaction, and while Reno can never quite say no, he wishes so very much sometimes that he could.

For each night he gives in, to himself and his weakness, it takes a part of him and crushes it to dust. He’s feeling emptier and more void each time, but that only drives him to continue, because the numbness kills the pain of rejection, makes this all twist into right even if his conscience screams at him that it is wrong.

Maybe he can be a habit… an inclination, something Tseng gets so used to that he simply ends up needing it. A recreational drug, not good for you, not what you really need, but enough to make you feel better, at least for a little while. Relief, a dependence… Reno would think addiction but that’s too strong word.

There is only one Tseng is addicted to, and that will never be him. As much as he gives, wants, wishes and dreams, he can’t make himself be somebody else. He can never be the one Tseng truly desire, yearns for, dreams of and loves.

He is only the substitute… the backup, the replacement, the reserve Tseng clings to because the real one is always out of reach.

Sometimes, Reno wonders what it is Tseng really sees in Rufus that he doesn’t have… but then, so many answers crowd his brain that all he can do is drown every one in alcohol to make them go away.

In the end, he is the one who gets to touch, gets to hold, gets to make Tseng gasp and moan and lose control. 

Reno doesn’t care anymore about all the details of just who Tseng is imagining when he closes his eyes and bites his lip, thrusts harder and mumbles a name that’s not Reno’s under his breath.

In the end, it’s Reno he’s with… and possession is nine-tenths of the law.

***.***


End file.
